15 Different Things Happy People Don’t Do
What is the major difference between happy people and unhappy people?It is obvious that happy people exude confidence and happiness while unhappy people always look gloomy and sad. But, certainly there must be something happy people are doing differently that makes them so happy. Therefore, I have compiled a list of things they do that unhappy people don’t do.
1. Love vs Fear
Happy people fear less and love more. Each person, moment, and challenge is often seen as an opportunity to explore themselves and the world they live in.
2. Resistance vs Acceptance
They understand that it is impossible to change a situation by resisting it, but by accepting its existence and realizing that there is a reason for it being there.
When an unpleasant circumstance presents itself, happy people don’t try to fight it because they realize that it would only make matters worse. Instead, they ask important questions like: What lessons can I learn from this? How can I make this situation better? They pay attention to the positives instead of the negatives. To them, the glass is always half full, no matter the circumstances.
3. Forgiveness vs Unforgiveness
Happy people are aware that it is unhealthy to hang on to prolonged anger. They intentionally forgive and forget, knowing that forgiveness is a present they give themselves first. According to Buddha, holding on to anger is like grasping hot coals with the intention of throwing them at someone else, but you get burned instead.
4. Trust vs Doubt
People who are really happy trust themselves and others around them. To them, it doesn’t matter whether they’re speaking to the cleaning lady or a C.E.O of a multimillion dollar corporation, they make each person feel special. They are aware that beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies.
As a result of that, they treat everyone they come in contact with with much love, dignity and respect. They is no demarcation between age, social status, religion, race, sex or color. Mark Twain was speaking of such great men when he stated that we should keep away from people who try to undermine your ambitions. Small people do that consistently, but those who are really great make you feel that you can become great too someday.
5. Meaning vs Ambition
People who are truly happy act the way they do because it brings meaning and a sense of purpose to their lives. They are aware that doing what you love is the foundation of much abundance in your life, as Wayne Dyers says.
Also, they are more interested in living a life filled with meaning, than in living what our modern day society calls a successful life. Ironically, they end up enjoying both success and meaning because they focus on doing the things they enjoy doing and follow the desires of their heart. To them, money is not a motivation at all and all they want is to make a difference in the lives of those around them.
Viktor E. Frankl in his book “Man’s search for Meaning” suggests that in the final analysis, man must recognize that he is being asked to define the meaning of his life. He must understand that life throws questions at him and by proffering an answer for his own life, he can actually answer the questions being asked of him by life. By being responsible, he can respond to life.
6. Praising vs Criticizing
Carl Jung’s stated in his theory on resistance that whatever you resist not only persists, but would actually increase in size and happy people know it too well. Criticizing the lack of behavior they are trying to strengthen is not their habit, instead, they realize that praising the person and the behavior they wish to strengthen, will encourage the positive behavior.
For instance, when a parent wants to ensure that their 7 year old child always puts his toys back in place once he is done playing with them, they make it a point of duty to praise the child for the times when he puts the toys away instead of constantly criticizing him for not putting them away. This would help to strengthen the desired positive behavior.
7. Challenges vs Problems
They see all problems as challenges; as a means to explore new ways of getting things done. Happy people constantly express appreciation for problems, since they’re aware that beneath every challenge lays opportunities to expand and grow.
8. Selflessness vs Selfishness
Happy people do what they do for the happiness of others, ensuring that they provide empowerment and meaning in the lives of several people. They’re constantly looking for ways to give of themselves to the world and make others happy.
Buddha said before giving, the mind of the giver is already happy and while giving, the mind of the giver is made peaceful; having given, then mind of the giver is uplifted.
9. Abundance vs Poverty
They live a balanced life and their mindset is one of abundance. Hence, they attain abundance in all areas of life.
10. Dreaming Big vs Being Realistic
Happy people don’t care about being realistic. They desire and dare to dream big and always listen to their heart and intuition. Their accomplishments are so outstanding and scary to most of us. It was Goethe that said we should not dream small dreams because they don’t have the power to move the hearts of men.
11. Kindness vs Cruelty
They’re kind to others and themselves and they’re aware of the power of self-love, self-acceptance and forgiveness.
12. Gratitude vs Ingratitude
Happy people have the ability to see beauty, opportunities and abundance where most of us see just ugliness, struggles and lack. Through it all, they remain thankful and it doesn’t matter where they are, who they are with or where they look.
13. Engagement vs Disengagement
They have mastered the art of living in the moment, and are thankful for what they have, where they are, while all the while still dreaming big dreams about their future.
Eckhart Tolle said that when you’re present, allow the mind to be without getting entangled in it. That the mind in itself is an amazing tool. There is dysfunction when you seek yourself in your mind and mistake it for who you are.
14. Positivity vs Negativity
A happy person always maintains a positive perspective, no matter the circumstances that surrounds them and as a result, tend to irritate a lot of realistic and negative people.
15. Taking Responsibility vs Blaming
Happy people take responsibility over whatever happens in their lives and hardly give excuses. They’re aware that whenever they choose to blame outside forces for what’s going on in their lives, they’re in fact giving away power. So, they make the conscious decision to keep their power and take full responsibility for whatever happens in their lives.