8 Steps All Parents Should Keep In Mind While Raising Children
Before becoming a mother, I frequently found myself thinking about the mistakes my parents made and how I would be sure not to repeat them when I finally became a parent myself. I’m pretty sure that this is a common thought among people who did not grow up in a 1950s sitcom kind up of world. That’s why I was shocked when, at 34 years old, I became a first time mom and found myself trying desperately tobe the type of mother my mother was and is today.
More often than I like to admit, I find myselfthinking: “Whatwould mom say or do in this situation?” when I am feeling unsure of myself as a parent. The minute I discovered I was pregnant, I immediately forget all of her and my father’s supposed mistakes. Now, I understand that this is simply the way we humanize out parents. Honestly, who wants perfect parents? Today, I am focused on the amazing gifts given to me by my parents.
The Top Eight Parenting Lessons I Learned From My Mother
1. Children have the right to expect privacy.
By respecting your child’s privacy, you build trust, as well as promote an environment where your child feels safe coming to you with things they may otherwise hide from you. In today’s world, many parents verbalize a fear that they are not aware of what is going on in their child’s life. This ends up educating their children on the skills needed to successfully hide things. Don’t be a snoop. Now, do not mix this up with relinquishingresponsibilityfor your child’s safety, being negligent, or uninvolved. Just keep in mind that there are very few occasions in which it is okay to go through their things. It’s important to understand that, like adults, children need and deserve their privacy.
2. Children should never be labeled.
Labels can be almost impossible to shed. When speaking about your children or to your children, avoid using terms like “spoiled brat,” “wild,” and “bossy.” Of course, “stupid” and “idiot” are even worse. Using these words to describe your children may limit their potential and damage their self-esteem. When they are heard repeatedly, children will begin to believe them.
3.Treat your children as special.
Every child is a distinct person, unique, and full of potential. You should celebrate and reiterate this at every opportunity. However, you should not mistake this for giving praise for every insignificant thing.
4. Encourage your children to pursue their interests.
Encourage all of your child’s interestsand help them pursue them, regardless of whether or not you see their dream as odd or a road to nowhere. If your daughter shows an interest in wrestling, sign her up. If your son is fascinated by clothing design, help him pursue thisinterest. A child has to be able to explore his interests to see where they may or may not take them. Offering encouragement and support shows them you value discovery.
5. From time to time, play hooky with your child.
Sometimes the best memories are those made during moments of “stolen” time. Disappear together for the day and see what happens.
6. Children are independent beings.
The only person a childtruly belongs to is themselves. Sure, we brought them into this world, but that doesn’t mean we “own” them or they own us. It is important to assist your child as they learn how to navigate life. They must be able to do this as the person they want to be, not the person you want them to be.
7. Children should be held to high standards.
Allowing your child to perform below their abilities or to take shortcuts gives them the chance to lose faith in their own abilities. If you settle for less than what you know they are capable of, you are teaching them that you believe they can’t achieve more. Eventually, they will begin to believe this too. Don’t be an army sergeant, but do teach them to apply themselves and take pride in their accomplishments and efforts.
8. Encourage your child to use music, art, dance, gardening, etc. as a way to express themselves.
Everyone needs a creative outlet. Children are naturally creative and can be rewarded greatly when allowed to express themselves through some form of art.
Credits: collective evolution