How To Be Sad?
Wake up. Go back to sleep. Wake up again and try to convince yourself that everything you’ve heard about endorphins is true. Go take a run. Look for the perfect song to work out to. Never find the perfect song to work out to. Shuffle. Skip. Skip. Take a shower. Do not get your hair wet. Have a plain slice of bread with peanut butter only, no jelly. Remind yourself you need a toaster. Always forget you need a toaster. Go to work. Realize you were not born to be a pedestrian. Get to work. Think about the possibilities of another place. Build castles in the air. Daydream about Europe. Look for a flight to Sweden. Look at the price and immediately close the tab, since you can’t afford it and you highly suspect your boss is looking at your screen from behind. Keep trying to convince yourself that this is just a momentary phase, that in a year this will be far-gone. Remember that you’ve been saying this for 3 years in a row and it’s getting old.
Stop doing anything you’re supposed to be doing 15 minutes before 5. This is what you like to call ‘Me Time’; the spare 15 last minutes that you dedicate to scroll around your so-called social networks. Unfriend. Unsuscribe. Unfollow. Repeat. Get home and remember that thing you said you were doing early this morning. Don’t do it. Take a shower and wash your hair if necessary. Turn on the TV. It’s funny how you seem to be accidentally synced with the boring TV programming made for seniors. Try to guess the answers of Jeopardy. Fail.
Repeat the same for Friday, except for the part that you decide to go out and develop a certain melancholy for not watching Jeopardy. Order a drink (a gin tonic to be specific). Think of how stupid the amount of money you spend on drinks is. If you only liked beer (it’s cheaper)….Take a sip of that gin tonic. Now you know why you don’t like beer. Take a look around and secretly wish he was there. Try not to look lonely, since you’re not. You’re only alone and you’re ok with that. But you’re not okay with that. In fact, you prove to yourself that lately every night ends like this. Go back home. Have a slice of bread with peanut butter; no jelly and no sandwich, just a slice of bread with peanut butter. Know that everything will be okay.
Author: Lily López
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